~The Loss~

Back in April of 2013, Warren and I found out that we were pregnant! Of course we were filled with many emotions, those of excitement, fear, and anxiety. Once the shock had gone away (it took a few days), we were finally getting accomostomed to the idea of becoming parents. About 8 weeks into the pregnancy, we found out that I had miscarried. We actually found out the morning I graduated with my Master's Degree. It was definitely a hard thing to go through. The doctor suggested a medical DNC, and Warren and I agreed that it was the best route to take. Never would we have imagined what transpired afterwards. We weren't planning to announce the pregnancy until a little later anyway, so I decided that I wanted to keep this miscarriage just between Warren and I. I remember it well, I went into the hospital on a Tuesday for the surgery. It was meant to be a short procedure, and I was told to rest for the remainder of the week, which I did. We were told the surgery went well, and I began the recovery process. The following weekend, things really went south. Some friends of ours were getting married in Savannah that Saturday, and I just knew I couldn't attend the wedding. I insisted that Warren go, so he did. A couple of hours after Warren left, I began to hemorrhage and rushed to the emergency room. Warren had to rush from the wedding in Savannah, and when he got to the hospital, I'm sure he was terrified. I had been in so much pain, that they gave me some of the strongest pain mediciation they could find. We ended up spending the night in the hospital, and I had to undergo a 2nd medical DNC the following morning (Sunday). Sunday just happened to be our 1 year anniversary. I have to say it wasn't the way either one of us planned on spending it. The night before, Warren had to make the dreaded call to my parents, to not only tell them that I had been pregnant and suffered a miscarriage, but that I was in the hospital and staying overnight for a 2nd surgery the following morning. I felt bad for Warren having to make that call, and I felt bad for not telling my parents sooner. I can't imagine the way that they felt. I left the hospital on Sunday afternoon, and we celebrated our 1 year anniversary that night (more to come on that later). The following Tuesday, my mom took me for my follow up appointment, and my doctor decided that I needed to undergo a 3rd surgery. So Wednesday of that week, I had my 3rd medical DNC procedure. I think everyone is still confused about why I needed the 3rd surgery, but either way, I had it. After this 3rd procedure, I finally started to feel like a normal person again. This was my journey.

It was a very difficult 2 weeks. Yes, I was emotionally devastated by the miscarriage, but I almost didn't have time to think about it because of all of the medical procedures and doctors and hospitals. I can say though, it was one of the toughest things I've ever had to go through, and I think Warren feels the same way. I remember (even through I was completely out of it and drugged up) the way he looked at me in the hosptial that Saturday night...I think he honestly thought I wasn't going to make it, and it completely scared him.

God has plans for all of us, and I truly believe that things happen for reasons. We just have to put our trust in Him to see us through, and that is exactly what I did. For a little while, I had trouble talking about the whole experience, but now, it makes me feel better to talk about it and write about it. All of life's experiences lead us to where we are and where we are meant to end up.

I did want to include some of the pictures that Warren and I took when we found out that we were pregnant. It was so fun taking those pictures, so I really felt like they should be in here.